try again

November 15Th - For several nights now I have been dreaming that I am pregnant and then I wake up and have a full bladder. Several times last night I woke up, well I was half awake but too tired to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Again I was dreaming and this time of me taking a pregnancy test. So at 6:40 AM this morning on Saturday, November 15, I took a pregnancy test. POSITIVE!!! Oh, happy day! I am so excited. I began to giggle and jump and then laugh out loud so much that I thought I might wake up Dan. I peeked and he was still sound asleep. I started to think of fun ways to tell him but not sure if I could wait. Lindsay woke up. I carried her back to bed and was still beaming and I had to tell someone. So I said, "Lindsay Mommy is going to have a baby for you. I have a baby in my tummy". She gasped, her eyes went wide open, she smiled, hugged me and then went back to sleep. I went back to my room to my sleeping bear and stared at him until he woke up. He said asked if I was pregnant. I jumped on him and shouted, "You're a stud! Yes, I am pregnant"! For the past three years we have debated when we should have another baby and if we should even have one. At first I wasn't ready for another one and then I started running and wanted to complete my marathon. But the girls constantly talk about having a baby brother or sister. We decided to give it six months and if no baby Dan could get snipped. October 14Th I discontinued birth control. October 20Th Dan returned from his California trip. I am now I think 6 weeks pregnant. Nice work Dan, knocked me up with one shot! Is this too much information? I took a few pregnancy test a few weeks ago because I was having symptoms. I didn't think I would get pregnant right away but I was so sleepy and craving cream cheese won tons like crazy. Both test were negative. But with other symptoms and our intuition we decided on one more test. We have told a only few people and our families. So I won't post this for a few more weeks until I have had an ultrasound.


November 17 - After the first ultrasound:
The first ultrasound shows me behind six weeks which was confusing because she couldn't find a sac. I also had unusual spotting. My suspicion is an early miscarriage. I am no stranger to disappointment. Yes, I have much to be happy about but I know disappointment when it comes to pregnancy. I have already had two miscarriages. My first pregnancy was a gruesome and painful miscarriage. The second one resulted in a DnC. The third pregnancy I had blood clots, bed rest and 14 weeks of Dan giving me shots. But it also resulted in my first beautiful baby, Lauren! The fourth pregnancy I took hormones but it wasn't so bad and I ended up with my little joy Lindsay Jane. So here I am at my fifth pregnancy and hoping things would be smooth sailing. After all I am a veteran to this. Unfortunately it hasn't been so easy.

One week later - I had my third miscarriage and another DnC. Its OK. We will try again. Its funny though how when you want to be pregnant everywhere you go you see beautiful pregnant women. I stayed home for a week. We missed Thanksgiving at Bill and Brenda's but they understood. We have to wait a few months before we can try again.